Bobby Valentino- Tell me Lyfe Jennings- Must be nice David Banner- Play Lloyd Banks feat. Avant- Karma Memphis Bleek feat. Donell Jones- i wanna love you Rozwell- Only wanna be with you Goo Goo Dolls- Black Balloon
selfish... something happened yesterday that really got to me, living here for 6 years now i always here about people working simply to support their family or support someone, every single peso they make goes to someone else and they're living paycheck to paycheck, i'm sure this happens in other countries as well, but its really bad down here.. anyway, yesterday, one of my officemates who i usually have lunch with whenever she's in our office here in pasig sent me a text message, she apologized for not inviting me to lunch because she felt so bad because she had just closed her bank account because she had to pay for her mother's operation, i felt so bad because she's been working since she was 16 and put herself through college and supports her entire family since her dad stopped working several years ago, she's now 27 and is still doing everything for her family, she said she had nothing to show for after this long and i thought to myself, "the fact that she put herself through college and supported her family and is putting her youngest sister through college at one of the prestigious (did i spell that right)universities here is testament enough of how successful and what a great person she is".. i look at what she's done and i look at what i've done and i just feel so small and insignificant, i've been so blessed for some reason and have everything anybody could ever want... which makes me think, "why me?" and "why am i so lucky, while so many people here in the Philippines are such great people but are suffering so much?"
i've talked constantly of leaving this country and working some where else for the simple fact that i've never been able to call this place home and because there are so many things i hate about this place, and no one can tell me that they too don't hate some things about this country cuz i know they'd be lying, i guess for me and my friends that grew up outside of this place its been even harder because we weren't used to things the way they are here.. but slowly and surely this place has grown on me no matter how much i want to leave or unhappy i may be at times, and lately and due to what happened yesterday, i feel guilty for wanting to leave, i've been so blessed and so many people here deserve better than what they are given.. my friend agnes did an outreach program in brazil, and i thought to myself i'd like to do that, but i thought again and said i don't have to go to brazil, there are so many people that need help here!
i don't know what i'm rambling on about, but i think i've come to the realization that i need to do something here, here in the philippines, i have to help out in some way in anyway i can to help those people who really need help, be it financially or education, or anything.. sure i'd love to leave and live some where else, but i think now is not the time to be selfish.. i don't know where i'll be in the next few months, but at this point, i think i've decided to stay put and see what i can do here to help others, it may not be anything big, but if everyone did something small, than i'm sure this place could be a lot better...
last words...
i don't know why i just wrote all that but i guess what happened yesterday really hit me for some reason.. anyway, on a lighter note tried some good ice cream yesterday! went to eastwood with jill and had this ice cream called Floyd's, same idea as cold stone where they mash the ice cream with all sorts of stuff on a frozen block of granite, good stuff! and my sister in law and brother told me that taco bell is open here! and krispy kreme is soon to follow! i'm guna be fat in a few weeks.. sucks...
